My Last Mother's Day

It was a beautiful day in May. Happy was I. My son Ronnie had gotten discharged from the hospital a few days earlier, much to my relief. It had been touch and go for a while. While hospitalized he became a hockey fan. What team, you ask? If you have to ask, then you don't know me.
The NJ Devils (for those of you who reside in other countries or know zero about hockey).

It was Mother's day and Ronnie and his girl friend Sandy took me and her Mother out to dinner. Maureen (Sandy's Mom) wanted to go to some place called The Lone Star. It didn't matter to me, but Ronnie said "Every time we go out to eat Maureen picks the place, it's time you got to choose". I told him that Mothers Day was about being together and that was more important than any food.

The place we went to was a steak house and I don't eat red meat. "Don't worry said I, chicken is always on the menu almost everywhere". Such a nice day it was. My gift was a watch with kittens on it; I still have that watch in my jewelry box. My only regret is that we didn't take pictures. My Ronnie always wrote the most sentimental things in cards and this one was no different. He thanked me for all the good qualities he possessed, stating that they came from me. Then proceeded to thank me for teaching him right from wrong and to always be a good person.
It was the most wonderful Mother's Day. Who could've known that four months later he'd be dead.

Broken though my heart may be, I am not ready to join him just yet; I still have tasks to complete. My soul just aches so wretchedly at times, most oft his birthday and Mother's Day. That was my Last Mother's Day as a Mother.

Today which is minutes away from being over is my last Mother's Day with a Mother.
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My sister has issues with me and my brother and she had my Mom's POA (I'm the alternate). My sister has her in a facility 5 minutes from her house, but it's a 30 mile tip for me on a road known for traffic. My own health problems hinder my travelling abilities.

My father's spirit came to me and told me to visit Mom and he would protect me while travelling. So I did, and had a wonderful visit. Alert and cognizant she was, though getting stuck on words sometimes. She stopped eating and drinking (except for chocolates) and my sister put her on hospice.

Never did she say a word to me. I will not speak ill of my little sister and I will always love her even if I despise some of the things she does.

So, my on-line friends I share with you that this is my last Mother's Day. I have no son and by next year will have no Mother. For this I am very, very sad.